Again, leading being the setting of direction, not the making of decisions…
1. You don’t know how
I think most men have not had a biblical modeling of leadership in their life. They missed it from dad…they missed it from the church…and so have the dudes they run with…creating a vacuum. Rarely seeing what direction setting leadership looks like, they resign themselves to passivity or chauvinism. Thinking that being a leader means they have to decide, and they have to be right, they are frustrated when people debate their decisions, and do not understand why more people do not follow them.
At the same time, I think most men feel the tension of their lack of leadership
Rather than working, finding a mentor, reading, praying, they stay in their ignorance
If you don’t know how, find someone who does, and follow them so you can lead others
2. You are lazy
Ignorance is bliss. As dudes, we are fine with our lack of leadership because it is easier than the alternative.
Vision takes work
Direction takes work
Plowing new territory takes work
For some it is not that we don’t know how, or that we don’t see the need…
it is that we are lazy, selfish, immature bums
I think most men have this tendency in them…especially these days, when adolescence extends into the late twenties.
These dudes need to get a grip and grow up
For those who can see areas in your life like this, we need to repent, work, be growing, and be busy
3. You misprioritize
Some of us have it in the tank. We are go-getters. We have vision. We get things done. We just get things done on the wrong fronts.
But we generally we pursue selfish fronts…fronts that fulfill us…make us look good…or bring us enjoyment
Our priority list:
1. You are a Christ follower
2. You are a husband
3. You are a father
4. You are a boss or employee
I would say that you need to be all of these within community (church), but another post, another time
What is your vision in these areas?
Where will these relationships be in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?
No one cares how far you got in the video game, on the golf course, or with your stocks
Frankly, no one cares how much money you made (if you were horrible to work for or with)
Evaluate and prioritize your energy and vision how God says He intended
It doesn’t mean you can’t play golf, have friends, or chill out. It does mean that we are not free to do these things at the expense of our priorities
4. You don’t know yourself
In marriage this does not apply. Men are to initiate. Men set direction. That direction may be passive by default, but it is direction non the less. Your family will respond to you.
However some are simply not supposed to be leading. They don’t have a vision. They don’t get it, and they don’t have it.
You are supposed to be a second or third chair guy. A supporter. A follower. An encourager
Why do we think this makes us less than?
What does make you less, is forcing what you aren’t on someone else
People see who you truly are
Be honest with who you are
Be thankful about who you are…God created you that way
Be growing in who you are
If you aren’t a direction setter, find a direction (and a direction setter) you can follow, and get after it