I have recently been doing some work at local non-profit that counsel young women who think they may be pregnant, and have needs in that context. Many times their needs are so great they become very abortion minded. The group does a great job loving on, and caring for those who come in their doors.
My job has been to join the new team hoping to reach out to the men in the story. The sad reality is that many of the women in need are in the position because of a lack of responsibility on the part of the man who impregnated her. Many times, she comes in alone, and references some type of ambiguity on the part of the man.
We are hoping to bolster the men in the community to step out of what has become a culture of irresponsibility in men. The culture of irresponsibility does not stop at race or economic lines, but has become an influence in every demographic. I think if we as men were honest, we would all admit areas we struggle to stand up as strong men. Here are some of the thoughts we are pouring over as we consider how to best mentor these young men.
A man takes responsibility.
Adam is a great picture of an irresponsible man. He stands by as Eve eats of the fruit, and then accepts her invitation to eat as well. When God comes calling, he takes no responsibility, and actually blames God as the one who gave him the women who has led him astray. A man, a biblical man, takes responsibility. He orients himself around the things that are important, and owns his part in making them what they need to be. When he fails, he accepts his failure, and owns the aspects of his life that need to change. He sees who he is, and believes that how he responds to circumstances as a true picture of what he is. He does not believe he has been victimized or forced into responses by the actions of others. His character is His responsibility.
A man is proactive
A real man, a biblical man, decides what he will be, before circumstance tests his reaction. As men, we need to acknowledge that when we react to circumstance we will be more prone to react naturally: irresponsibly. Daniel purposed some things in his heart BEFORE temptation arose, not WHILE temptation arose. Because he was proactive, reactions were grounded in what was concrete, not dictated by circumstance that was fluid.
A man applies his ethics
Ethics are more than what we want to be or become, by why. A biblical man acknowledge the need for an objective, outside, and trustworthy source that he can rest his life upon. Ego-centric ethics provide little to no avenue for sacrifice, humility, or suffering, When my ethics are based on me, what I enjoy, and what makes me happy, it is often at the expense of other and often opposing worldviews. A biblical mans bases his life on the objective and unmoving truth presented by the Bible and exhibited in the life of Christ. He acknowledges his inability to create a proper foundation within the vacuum of experience, so he bases his life on what will not serve self, but will serve others.
A man has integrity
Integrity is what I am when no one is looking. In observance of his responsibility, he makes decisions, based on his ethical foundation, about what he will do, and why it is important that he do it. Circumstance will often provide another avenue. One less ethical…less responsible…and more reactive…Integrity keeps a man on course.
I would really encourage you to write a personal mission statement. I know it sounds and feels a bit corporate, but the reality is we don’t think about some of these issues until after we have formed obvious habits. Writing a personal mission statement allows me to identify what my responsibilities are, how I need to a address them, and why I need to address, all within a context un-biased by circumstance.